Deep Fried Pork Chops and Noodle Cake (by G)

I had some great looking pork chops delivered the other day and I wanted to do something nice with them... there was a rather massive gap between intention and execution. 

Biggs and I like a bit of a crispy cooked pork chop so I decided to put a few slices in them and deepish fry them - first difficulty, the knife I chose for the job was not very sharp so the cuts got a little ragged.  I don't know how I didn't kill myself deep-frying them in a shallow pan - they were a bit feisty to say the least.

I was sitting on a bit a vegetable stockpile so I decided to roast some - onion, zucchini, tomato, some garlic. Then I decided to mix that through some noodles, add flavour, top it with the world's biggest mushroom, crisp up the bottom (which would then become the top) and serve.

It turns out that the worlds largest mushroom was too large for the fry pan I had selected to cook it in - sigh. I had to re-juggle things and managed to get the mushroom cooked down to a small enough size to fit in the original pan. 

Next problem... flavour. I'd forgotten that Biggs said she had used the last of the soy sauce the other day so that was out, happily we have some oyster sauce - unhappily it had a bit of mould floating on the top.  In the end I decided to add a packet of miso soup, then I thought that was weird so I ended up making a dressing of a really sweet and unpleasant hoisin sauce, fish sauce, sushi vinegar and, oh, I don't know... some other shit.

I managed to burn the crispy top of the noodles and despite the pork meat being dry and tough the rind was as uncrispy as it was on the living pig.

Take away my pans, shut down the blog, I jumped the shark with this one.